When you Goof

I recently had one of those ‘oops I did it again’ moments aka I goofed and big time too. Up till then, I had maintained a clean slate (in my estimation) so you can imagine my unease, especially if you consider that I was in my final stages of the endeavour at the time. You know how it is that a sore thumb easily sticks out; and when it’s the last thing remembered about one, you can imagine it may become quite memorable for the wrong reasons and easily muddy up the clean slate.

Anyways, this note is not about throwing a pity party. Believe you me, I beat myself up about it well enough already. The real issue is, what do you do when you goof?

Well for me, first step is admitting you goofed aka confessing your sins. The counter party already knows you goofed anyways so denying, justifying, excusing, wishing it away or getting defensive would very likely make an already bad situation become worse.

Be apologetic and come clean, no need to lie in my view, though you may need to think up how you want to articulate the truth without causing further damage. Sometimes  getting the views of a trusted ally on how to handle would help, after all two good heads are better than one right?

Make amends quickly, clean up your acts, be on your best behaviour, go and sin no more and of course take the learnings.

For me, the ultimate learning is about properly communicating to the appropriate parties, after all a closed mouth is a closed destiny and trust me the sleepless night that comes from goofing is not worth it and can be prevented most times.

Cheers

Adefolake

*image credit: http://www.google.com

Back to the Roots

Some not so random thoughts…

A few days back, I felt nostalgic about my primary school…I know right? It’s been more than 20 years since I left it for higher studies. But you know what? there was a sudden ‘click’ in my brain that ‘oh wow’ the foundation I had there truly prepared me for my current journey in life.

My primary school is what you call a ‘Staff School,’ that is, a primary school built by a university (of which mine happens to be the university of first choice in my country… yeah let’s hype ourselves small) to cater to its employees’ children. Anyway by its nature, all classes of children attend a staff school –  from the professors’ children to the cleaners’ children. That kind of mix in my foundational school meant that I was exposed quite early to experiences of the highly placed and not so highly placed children. That gave me balance and helped me become adaptable to different classes of people, of course without losing my essence. I learnt to relate ‘wella’ with both the ‘butty’ and the ‘aje pako’ which pays out in my journey today.

Of course, attending Staff School also showed me quite early that the fruit of hard work is no respecter of persons. Many times, the brilliant and hard working children of the ‘cleaners’ topped the class ahead of lazy children of the ‘professors.’ I mean, even I enjoyed such fruits of hardwork at that time when my dad was not one of the movers and shakers of the university.

In all, I have come to find – thanks to my Staff School foundation – that there is dignity in hardwork and that how you treat people at any level in life may just determine whether the door to your next level is opened or shut against you.

Up University of Lagos Staff School!!!! Indeed, instilling and reinforcing a ‘Tradition of Excellence.’

Cheers to our next levels,

Adefolake

*image credit – http://www.google.com

Defining Moments

I know, it’s been a minute *covers face…

First off, when I selected this topic, it seemed to me that the phrase, ‘Defining Moments’ appears to be a tad too serious and well, philosophical. Still, the point to be made is that in life, most people have one or more experiences that makes them view life differently, sometimes in a calmer, more matured light.

For me, I have had quite a few of such moments starting 2009 when it was starkly and very practically impressed upon me that it is not of him/she that willeth but of the Lord that showeth mercy….After the encounter, I became much calmer and seemed to mature in leaps and bounds almost overnight. With the encounter, also came the realisation that what did not kill me would only make me stronger…

And so, at moments when I seem to be at my wits end, I remember that defining moment and draw strength from it, rest assured that such moments too shall pass, or as a cleric once said, if you are unhappy that you lost something, you should give thanks that you have not lost everything…after all, where there is life, there certainly is hope.

I am not so certain that this is the turn I intended this narrative to take when I began penning down my thoughts but again, what am I but a pencil in the hand of my creator.

This is part of my story. What’s yours?

We should use our individual stories to prod us on when our feet seem leaden.

Cheers,

Adefolake

*image credit: http://www.google.com

C’mon Wear Those Shoes, Don’t Hide that Talent!

So I got the shoes in this post’s featured image in October 2015. ‘Big deal,’ you snicker. I have never worn them since I bought them. Did I just hear a ‘wowu?’

You see, I got the shoes at a budget-friendly price at the time and hey, they are white too, why not save them for that appropriate time instead of having to scrub them clean all the time. So I kept them in the accompanying box, all nice and wrapped…

This evening, as I was ‘lazying’ on my bed catching up on my social media, I remembered my shoes, took them out of the box on a whim and voila, discovered that they have started showing signs of cracking though this is not noticeable from the featured image…

Which brings me to my point, that when we get an opportunity, there is no need to cower, waiting for the most opportune time to show forth, let’s seize every moment and make it count. Let’s stretch our talents to bear forth more talents and not hide them in the ground  so that they diminish in value like that unwise servant did and dare I say, what I had done to my shoes till now…

‘Cos you know what? Life is short and is only for the living. So live life, within reasonable limits I may add.

Wear those shoes and walk comfortably in them as I sure am gonna do with the ones in the featured image.

Cheers to walking comfortably in our shoes.

Adefolake

*image credit: my ‘Phone Cam

A Pen, A Catalyst of Change & Glamour

The Christian faith records that the earth and its occupants were created by the spoken word. In human relations, agreements recorded by words are binding on the makers of such agreements. The government regulates human relations using words set out in statutes and other regulatory documents. A soft word has been known to turn away anger while a rash word has been known to aggravate anger. Famed public speakers and renowned writers are so famed for their words. Need one say more then, that words can be used as a catalyst of change and glamour, it all depends on the arrangement and use of the words. A pen which is the traditional means of writing, can therefore be said to be a catalyst of change or glamour. So also are the more modern means like phones, tablets, laptops and what have you?

Of course, even good things can be misused, thus words if not appropriately put together, can shut doors firmly rather than throwing them wide open.

Appropriate words, create the right imagery in one’s mind and make one literally touch the items being referred to in the words. No wonder, the world could be created with words…

Cheers to making your pen your catalyst of change, glamour and other things to be held dear as I strive to do daily.

In another news, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BELOVED SISTER, ADEDOLAPO ADEJUGBE!!! You know I got you ‘gurl’ *bear hug*

Warm regards,

Adefolake

*image credit: http://www.google.com

Soldier Go, Soldier Come…

There’s a saying that goes: ‘one man’s loss is another man’s gain.’ This saying is similarly (sometimes satirically) captured with phrases like: one man’s meat is another man’s poison; one man’s trash is another man’s treasure or as a common lingua in my clime goes, ‘soldier go, soldier come but barrack must to remain.’

The phrases above, capture the essence of the thoughts that opportunities lurk in every corner and our abilities to actualise these opportunities depends on our mindsets. In a work scenario for instance, while an employer may bemoan the unexpected resignation of a valued employee, the void created by that loss as it were, provides ample room for growth of other employees and depending on how such remaining employees play their cards, may make them become more valuable and potentially surpass in value-add, the employee who has moved on. The same principle rings true in different spheres of life and I can personally relate in more than one instance.

When such opportunities are presented, one can either take the stance of seeing the same glass as half empty or half full. At the end of the day, our perspectives on life issues we experience, determine whether we make the best (or worst) of them.

One fact of life however, is that soldier go, soldier come, barrack must to remain. The barrack had therefore best equip itself to prepare the remaining soldiers (and those who will join), to succeed at wars.

Warm regards,

Adefolake

*image credit: http://www.google.com

Rise Above Your Fears!

These notes are as much a charge to me, as to anyone who is struggling to rise above his/her fears. I mean, I’m all for the mantra that ‘you don’t get what you don’t ask for,’ but hey let’s face it, the asking isn’t always easy abi? But again, me rationalising with myself, I ask, ‘what do you have to lose by asking?’ Worst case, you get a ‘No!’  which does not leave you in a worse position than you were before asking; and think of it, there’s a 50% chance that you will get a ‘Yes:)’ and if that happens, you definitely get to be in a better position than you were before asking. So doing the maths, risk analysis or similar, you’re probably better off asking.

But…one may whisper, ‘I stand a chance of being looked down upon for asking,’ aka I stand a chance of losing ‘rep.’ After all, you reason, ‘it is better to keep quiet and be thought stupid than to open one’s mouth and leave none in doubt as to one’s stupidity.’ Deep huh! But hey, wait a min,’ what could possibly make you worried about ‘losing face?’ Could this be traced to a twinge of pride perhaps? But what do I know right?

Anyways, one way I approach such situations, fears, uncertainties, potential losing of ‘rep’ and the likes, is to put on my ‘strategy’ (not manipulative…*side eye*) cap to present my case in such a manner that even if I do get a ‘No!’ my ‘rep’ doesn’t also get battered. After all, a word fitly spoken, is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. Nice imagery right? It’s called wisdom if you like, and in any sphere or walk of life, wisdom is the principal thing.

So, while I prepare to make the ‘fearful’ request that spurred me to write this, I do hope I have been able to make you or yours (as applicable), to keep calm and rise above fears.

Cheers to being fearless (without being tactless),
Adefolake

*image credit: http://www.google.com