Category Archives: General

Don’t Burn Bridges

‘Hey! I don’t need this bridge no more, so who cares if it goes up in blazes!’ You say…

But not too fast, who says never say never, huh!

Granted, we cannot say ‘yes’ to everyone and everything at the same time – it’s why there is such a thing as opportunity cost in economics. But then, we can say ‘no’ without making enemies – it’s why there is such a thing called emotional intelligence.

At a point in time, I had two job opportunities – both great opportunities by the way – a dream come true for most. But here’s the snag, I couldn’t take up both opportunities at the same time; I had to disappoint one organisation. Here was my dilemma – how to say ‘no’ without making enemies.

Of course, I could just say ‘no’ and move on. But because I knew I may be needing the rejected one later in life, I had to be creative about how I said the ‘no’ so it did not become a personal vendetta.

The thing is, in this thing called life, you often cannot get divorced from having a roller coaster ride or coming back full circle even at the most inopportune times. Hence, wisdom is key.

I kid you not, I spent a number of sleepless nights ruminating on how to say this ‘no’ even engaging with about three very senior persons in the know and of course my personal ‘yard’ people on how to go about it.

In the end, the ‘no’ was said – feelings were hurt and maybe one or two silent enemies made. But then, I tried to say the ‘no’ in such a way that there were very viable reasons behind the ‘no’ which could not be faulted. I also retained many of my senior friends in the process.

Kinda reminds me of when I need to say ‘no’ to le hubs. I mean I could very easily tell him to go to hell, but then ‘who e epp’ when he gets pissed? So I often think of how to couch my ‘no’ in a way that doesn’t alienate him – which in turn also impresses on him the manner in which to tell me ‘no’ in a respectful way.

You see in this life, choose your battles; don’t burn bridges if you can help it. Emotional intelligence is key and wisdom is supreme!

Cheerio,

Hugs,

Adefolake

*image credit: http://www.google.com

Feeling Useless? You may only need to change your Approach!

I recall a research paper I once wrote as part of the requirements to clinch an international tax certification. I was so sure the paper was top notch or a ‘banger’ in informal lingua. After waiting for about four months for the verdict, I received an email regretting to inform me that the research effort was not up to standard. I was advised to consider revising the paper and re-submitting. That I was crushed, is an understatement!

After overcoming the initial denial *laughs,* I revisited the assessor’s comments and found that I could address most of them by simply re-adjusting the title of my research paper to fit ‘perfectly’ with the existing contents. Of course, I had to make a few tweaks to the contents too but the big deal was really in revising my topic. This was not stated as part of the suggestions for improving the contents but to be honest, I was so inundated with several other assignments that I was willing to clutch at straws after bouncing the idea off le hubz to test viability. After all s/he who is already down need fear no fall ‘innit?’

I applied for the topic revision, it was granted, I tweaked the contents and submitted the research paper. It was a ‘banger’ and I obtained the coveted certification.

To prove this theory, I have applied it on other occasions with successful results.

Bottomline – sometimes the solution to that ‘big’ problem is merely a change of approach. The problem itself does not make you an abysmal failure. Rather, it should bring to bear your innovative prowess if you can only rise up from that self-pity!

Cheers to thinking out of the box.

-Adefolake

*image credit: http://www.google.com

C’mon Wear Those Shoes, Don’t Hide that Talent!

So I got the shoes in this post’s featured image in October 2015. ‘Big deal,’ you snicker. I have never worn them since I bought them. Did I just hear a ‘wowu?’

You see, I got the shoes at a budget-friendly price at the time and hey, they are white too, why not save them for that appropriate time instead of having to scrub them clean all the time. So I kept them in the accompanying box, all nice and wrapped…

This evening, as I was ‘lazying’ on my bed catching up on my social media, I remembered my shoes, took them out of the box on a whim and voila, discovered that they have started showing signs of cracking though this is not noticeable from the featured image…

Which brings me to my point, that when we get an opportunity, there is no need to cower, waiting for the most opportune time to show forth, let’s seize every moment and make it count. Let’s stretch our talents to bear forth more talents and not hide them in the ground  so that they diminish in value like that unwise servant did and dare I say, what I had done to my shoes till now…

‘Cos you know what? Life is short and is only for the living. So live life, within reasonable limits I may add.

Wear those shoes and walk comfortably in them as I sure am gonna do with the ones in the featured image.

Cheers to walking comfortably in our shoes.

Adefolake

*image credit: my ‘Phone Cam

Choices

Choices are decisions we take.

Whether consciously or subconsciously, we make choices every moment of our lives.

Indeed, choosing to do nothing about a situation is in itself a choice.

Consequences whether good or bad, are a fall out of the choices we make which we often have to live with.

Therefore,

We should be guided when making our choices…

Because,

Choices, we make them, then they make us.

Cheers,

Adefolake

*image credit: http://www.google.com

Oh, Wow!

Oh, Wow! So it’s literally been three months since I established any kind of presence here. Ma bad…

To be honest, I have no appropriate words to explain away the cause for this lethargy because when it comes right down to it, that is what it has been and that’s putting it lightly. Nonetheless, I am not one to cry over spilt milk so I’m just gonna dust the laziness outta me and hope for a more productive blogging lifestyle where I get to chat about experiences and lessons learnt in the journey through life…

Like this month, where I have learnt the importance of infusing passion in one’s efforts and the importance of sacrifice in matters of the heart. Putting your money where your mouth is as it were. I also learnt the place of inspiration because that, my friends, has made me lazily pick myself up to continue this. After all, better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof huh?

So please join me on this ride and hopefully we will make some nice discoveries.

Warm regards,

Adefolake

*image credit: http://www.google.com

The Milk of Human Kindness

I just knew  I had to snap out of that inertia to pen this down…

Saturday, 11th June:

I had a colleague’s wedding to attend and I must confess when I got out of bed that morning, I was undecided as to whether to go back for round two of sleep (after all it was a weekend) or dress up and go out. I was also considering that I got in real late the day before. No, I wasn’t partying, I was working…

I eventually prepared for the wedding and started the uneventful journey until the car decided to have a mind of its own half way into the journey and start misbehaving…

So this kind Nigerian stopped to assist and even went out of his way to get his mechanic. Meanwhile, some patrolling nice members of the police force had also come to assist.

While I was waiting for my benefactor, some not so nice LASTMA officials passed by with a towing vehicle and I’m sure were saying in their minds ‘see Saturday meat.’ If only they knew…

Anyway as the car was being towed, my nice police friends saw them and stopped them and a hot argument ensued…

Meanwhile, the kind Nigerian had again gone out of his way to trace the car with his mechanic in tow; and find out what was happening.

So while the police-LASTMA drama was going on, I was just sitting back and watching a play out of the biblical words in Ex 14:14 and Prov 16:7…you can check them out.

One of the LASTMA bosses had to come into the picture and we all reached a nice compromise. I never for once even mentioned I’m into ‘law thingz’ myself.

This kind benefactor again waited to make sure his mechanic diagnosed the problem, beat down the exploitative tendency of the mechanic, drove the mechanic to buy the parts and me to the ATM to get some cash; and even provided fuel (in these hard times!) to wash the car parts. He also waited till the car was in a shape to move…

Mind you, there were no ulterior motives, no ‘asking out’ or asking for my number. He happily made references to his wife and kids. He is also a Muslim.

The tripping part that got me writing this piece, is the kindness I experienced, particularly from Ololade Saheed, my benefactor. I wonder if I could have been as nice to my fellow man.

The wedding was just about to end when I finally arrived but I met the couple so I’m glad that I was able to make it down.

I will never forget the kindness shown to me by my fellow men…and unlikely ones at that☺️

– Adefolake

*photo credit: http://www.google.com

Rape

Just yesterday, we treated ‘rape’ as a Sunday School topic in church and one of the issues that came up was whether there can ever be such a thing as marital rape, but that’s a topic for another day.

One of the things that came up during the treatment of the topic especially among the men folk I dare say, was that rape is usually caused by indecent dressing. I beg to differ if you please!

Get me right, I’m not in on ladies prancing around half-clad and all but something just boils within me when there is an attempt to justify rape on the basis that she caused it by her dressing.

Because think of it, when a man’s sister or mother or daughter walks around the house in wrapper (amuseya as some say) or in a sphagetti top and bum shorts, does that man however rape-prone he may be, say that because of such “indecent dressing,” he’ll pounce on her like a predator? Your guess is as good as mine unless that man is a modern day Amnon.

So, I don’t care how you try to rationalise it, there is never a justification (and definitely not indecent dressing) for rape. After all, there are Mary Amaka dressers who are victims of rapists.

You may be wondering why I appear to be so emotional on this topic. Well, it is an emotional topic, simple! You may also wonder why I have refused to broach the topic of whether it is possible for men to fall rape victims of women. Well, again, that’s a topic for another day, let me catch my breath and cool down first!

– Adefolake

*photo credit: http://www.google.com

Rebranding

I’m assuming we all know that change is one of the constant things in life…and this change is responsible for the rebranding going on right here.

I remember how it all started late in 2014 when I just felt the urge to capture random thoughts and Sanity in all the Craziness was birthed. Fast forward some months, change again saw the name evolve to Sanity in all the Craze and right about now, change yet again has birthed Crazy Sanity.

Whilst scouting for the appropriate name, I was made to understand, thanks to the philosopher in my dear sister, that Sanity in all the Craze signifies a lot of craziness splashed with some sanity. Crazy Sanity on its part signifies lots of sanity with a touch of craze.

Looking back at where I started and where I am now, I think I can say there has indeed been an evolution from plenty craziness mixed with a little sanity, to a whole bunch of sanity with just a touch of craziness.

So what can I say? Crazy Sanity it is till such a time as the next literary wave takes over.

 Many thanks sis for the perspective.

Let’s do this!

-Adefolake

Just breathe

Those moments, when it seems there’s so much flurry of activities that the head seems to spin. Again, those moments, when supposed efforts don’t seem to yield the desired results. Yet again, those moments when the law of diminishing returns seems to be playing games with us…

In those moments, I think we need some time off to just breathe, reflect and revamp our strength…

Because without fail, those who take time to wait eventually mount up with wings as eagles, soaring and running without fainting.

Happy Independence Day my Nigeria. Long live Nigeria😘

WHEN THE BEST INTENTIONS FALL TO NAUGHT

Have you resolved to act or not act in a certain way, and as it were, put your money where your mouth is, only for those plans to fall to naught? Well, you are not alone.

For instance, I told myself I would be a better worker and would trigger this process by not running foul of the resumption time and I actually tried to make it happen but alas!

The other day, I even left my abode a gulping thirty minutes earlier but unbeknownst to me, the forces behind the morning traffic had other plans. So, in spite of my good intentions, dare I say that I ran foul of resumption time.

While, in traffic, I came to terms with the fact that my good intentions were falling to pieces but even with that realisation, came the resolve that, ‘I can get it if I really want…but I must try, try and try, try and tr….y, I’ll succeed at last.’ I think this resolve should resonate with anyone in a similar situation.

Cheers.