Category Archives: Reflective

Let’s talk about GRIT!

You know, I had it in mind to talk about shattering stereotypes ‘cos well, that’s what I tend to do ‘on a reg’ but then I had a recent experience that made me see the need to talk about something else – grit – and in the manner of not conforming to stereotypes that’s my way of life, I’m gonna say a few words on grit. More on stereotypes later (maybe).

Grit is a ruthless, stubborn, single-minded determination to achieve a goal.

So, I had this appointment for 1pm and believe you me, I left my location 2 hours earlier for the 45 minutes ride to have ample time to meet up with the appointment. But you know how it’s said that life is never straight especially when you need it to be, right?

As (mis)fortune would have it, rain decided to fall that day and if you are Lagos based like me, you know that rain and traffic are like 5 & 6.

So here I was, driving through the traffic, listening to music and naively telling myself that ‘this too shall pass.’

But would you believe it, that 30 minutes to the appointment time, Google Maps told me I still had another 53 minutes to arrive at my destination because well, traffic. Rain was also still drizzling enough to make one stay put indoors if one didn’t really need to go out. Refusing to let panic mode set in because this was a really really crucial appointment, I knew I had to be creative but also knew I couldn’t carry the car on my head.

So you know what? I made a detour, parked the car in a supermarket, got out, picked the materials I needed for the appointment including tissue paper to dust off inevitable dirt and with my black suit and black spiky heels, flagged down an Okada (motorbike) because well, necessity is the mother of invention. As you may have imagined, the more trendy Gokada I had ordered with my phone, was taking forever to arrive.

Of course, I was aware of the HSE risk of riding an Okada in the drizzling rain over a distance of 11km but I had more to lose by remaining in the traffic. Besides, what’s life without calculated risks huh?

I will spare you the rest of the details of the eventful journey and will conclude by saying that though I arrived 10 minutes later than scheduled, I met the appointment. Before sashaying in for the appointment in my all black attire, black spiky heels and under-stated black accessories looking like the power lady I know I am, I cleaned off the evidence of the Okada ride with my tissue paper. Because again, you never need to look like anything (rough) that you have been through.

I rode a Gokada afterwards to pick my car.

The end.

Adefolake

*image credit: http://www.google.com

When you Goof

I recently had one of those ‘oops I did it again’ moments aka I goofed and big time too. Up till then, I had maintained a clean slate (in my estimation) so you can imagine my unease, especially if you consider that I was in my final stages of the endeavour at the time. You know how it is that a sore thumb easily sticks out; and when it’s the last thing remembered about one, you can imagine it may become quite memorable for the wrong reasons and easily muddy up the clean slate.

Anyways, this note is not about throwing a pity party. Believe you me, I beat myself up about it well enough already. The real issue is, what do you do when you goof?

Well for me, first step is admitting you goofed aka confessing your sins. The counter party already knows you goofed anyways so denying, justifying, excusing, wishing it away or getting defensive would very likely make an already bad situation become worse.

Be apologetic and come clean, no need to lie in my view, though you may need to think up how you want to articulate the truth without causing further damage. Sometimes  getting the views of a trusted ally on how to handle would help, after all two good heads are better than one right?

Make amends quickly, clean up your acts, be on your best behaviour, go and sin no more and of course take the learnings.

For me, the ultimate learning is about properly communicating to the appropriate parties, after all a closed mouth is a closed destiny and trust me the sleepless night that comes from goofing is not worth it and can be prevented most times.

Cheers

Adefolake

*image credit: http://www.google.com

Back to the Roots

Some not so random thoughts…

A few days back, I felt nostalgic about my primary school…I know right? It’s been more than 20 years since I left it for higher studies. But you know what? there was a sudden ‘click’ in my brain that ‘oh wow’ the foundation I had there truly prepared me for my current journey in life.

My primary school is what you call a ‘Staff School,’ that is, a primary school built by a university (of which mine happens to be the university of first choice in my country… yeah let’s hype ourselves small) to cater to its employees’ children. Anyway by its nature, all classes of children attend a staff school –  from the professors’ children to the cleaners’ children. That kind of mix in my foundational school meant that I was exposed quite early to experiences of the highly placed and not so highly placed children. That gave me balance and helped me become adaptable to different classes of people, of course without losing my essence. I learnt to relate ‘wella’ with both the ‘butty’ and the ‘aje pako’ which pays out in my journey today.

Of course, attending Staff School also showed me quite early that the fruit of hard work is no respecter of persons. Many times, the brilliant and hard working children of the ‘cleaners’ topped the class ahead of lazy children of the ‘professors.’ I mean, even I enjoyed such fruits of hardwork at that time when my dad was not one of the movers and shakers of the university.

In all, I have come to find – thanks to my Staff School foundation – that there is dignity in hardwork and that how you treat people at any level in life may just determine whether the door to your next level is opened or shut against you.

Up University of Lagos Staff School!!!! Indeed, instilling and reinforcing a ‘Tradition of Excellence.’

Cheers to our next levels,

Adefolake

*image credit – http://www.google.com

Defining Moments

I know, it’s been a minute *covers face…

First off, when I selected this topic, it seemed to me that the phrase, ‘Defining Moments’ appears to be a tad too serious and well, philosophical. Still, the point to be made is that in life, most people have one or more experiences that makes them view life differently, sometimes in a calmer, more matured light.

For me, I have had quite a few of such moments starting 2009 when it was starkly and very practically impressed upon me that it is not of him/she that willeth but of the Lord that showeth mercy….After the encounter, I became much calmer and seemed to mature in leaps and bounds almost overnight. With the encounter, also came the realisation that what did not kill me would only make me stronger…

And so, at moments when I seem to be at my wits end, I remember that defining moment and draw strength from it, rest assured that such moments too shall pass, or as a cleric once said, if you are unhappy that you lost something, you should give thanks that you have not lost everything…after all, where there is life, there certainly is hope.

I am not so certain that this is the turn I intended this narrative to take when I began penning down my thoughts but again, what am I but a pencil in the hand of my creator.

This is part of my story. What’s yours?

We should use our individual stories to prod us on when our feet seem leaden.

Cheers,

Adefolake

*image credit: http://www.google.com

C’mon Wear Those Shoes, Don’t Hide that Talent!

So I got the shoes in this post’s featured image in October 2015. ‘Big deal,’ you snicker. I have never worn them since I bought them. Did I just hear a ‘wowu?’

You see, I got the shoes at a budget-friendly price at the time and hey, they are white too, why not save them for that appropriate time instead of having to scrub them clean all the time. So I kept them in the accompanying box, all nice and wrapped…

This evening, as I was ‘lazying’ on my bed catching up on my social media, I remembered my shoes, took them out of the box on a whim and voila, discovered that they have started showing signs of cracking though this is not noticeable from the featured image…

Which brings me to my point, that when we get an opportunity, there is no need to cower, waiting for the most opportune time to show forth, let’s seize every moment and make it count. Let’s stretch our talents to bear forth more talents and not hide them in the ground  so that they diminish in value like that unwise servant did and dare I say, what I had done to my shoes till now…

‘Cos you know what? Life is short and is only for the living. So live life, within reasonable limits I may add.

Wear those shoes and walk comfortably in them as I sure am gonna do with the ones in the featured image.

Cheers to walking comfortably in our shoes.

Adefolake

*image credit: my ‘Phone Cam

A Pen, A Catalyst of Change & Glamour

The Christian faith records that the earth and its occupants were created by the spoken word. In human relations, agreements recorded by words are binding on the makers of such agreements. The government regulates human relations using words set out in statutes and other regulatory documents. A soft word has been known to turn away anger while a rash word has been known to aggravate anger. Famed public speakers and renowned writers are so famed for their words. Need one say more then, that words can be used as a catalyst of change and glamour, it all depends on the arrangement and use of the words. A pen which is the traditional means of writing, can therefore be said to be a catalyst of change or glamour. So also are the more modern means like phones, tablets, laptops and what have you?

Of course, even good things can be misused, thus words if not appropriately put together, can shut doors firmly rather than throwing them wide open.

Appropriate words, create the right imagery in one’s mind and make one literally touch the items being referred to in the words. No wonder, the world could be created with words…

Cheers to making your pen your catalyst of change, glamour and other things to be held dear as I strive to do daily.

In another news, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BELOVED SISTER, ADEDOLAPO ADEJUGBE!!! You know I got you ‘gurl’ *bear hug*

Warm regards,

Adefolake

*image credit: http://www.google.com

Soldier Go, Soldier Come…

There’s a saying that goes: ‘one man’s loss is another man’s gain.’ This saying is similarly (sometimes satirically) captured with phrases like: one man’s meat is another man’s poison; one man’s trash is another man’s treasure or as a common lingua in my clime goes, ‘soldier go, soldier come but barrack must to remain.’

The phrases above, capture the essence of the thoughts that opportunities lurk in every corner and our abilities to actualise these opportunities depends on our mindsets. In a work scenario for instance, while an employer may bemoan the unexpected resignation of a valued employee, the void created by that loss as it were, provides ample room for growth of other employees and depending on how such remaining employees play their cards, may make them become more valuable and potentially surpass in value-add, the employee who has moved on. The same principle rings true in different spheres of life and I can personally relate in more than one instance.

When such opportunities are presented, one can either take the stance of seeing the same glass as half empty or half full. At the end of the day, our perspectives on life issues we experience, determine whether we make the best (or worst) of them.

One fact of life however, is that soldier go, soldier come, barrack must to remain. The barrack had therefore best equip itself to prepare the remaining soldiers (and those who will join), to succeed at wars.

Warm regards,

Adefolake

*image credit: http://www.google.com

Rise Above Your Fears!

These notes are as much a charge to me, as to anyone who is struggling to rise above his/her fears. I mean, I’m all for the mantra that ‘you don’t get what you don’t ask for,’ but hey let’s face it, the asking isn’t always easy abi? But again, me rationalising with myself, I ask, ‘what do you have to lose by asking?’ Worst case, you get a ‘No!’  which does not leave you in a worse position than you were before asking; and think of it, there’s a 50% chance that you will get a ‘Yes:)’ and if that happens, you definitely get to be in a better position than you were before asking. So doing the maths, risk analysis or similar, you’re probably better off asking.

But
one may whisper, ‘I stand a chance of being looked down upon for asking,’ aka I stand a chance of losing ‘rep.’ After all, you reason, ‘it is better to keep quiet and be thought stupid than to open one’s mouth and leave none in doubt as to one’s stupidity.’ Deep huh! But hey, wait a min,’ what could possibly make you worried about ‘losing face?’ Could this be traced to a twinge of pride perhaps? But what do I know right?

Anyways, one way I approach such situations, fears, uncertainties, potential losing of ‘rep’ and the likes, is to put on my ‘strategy’ (not manipulative
*side eye*) cap to present my case in such a manner that even if I do get a ‘No!’ my ‘rep’ doesn’t also get battered. After all, a word fitly spoken, is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. Nice imagery right? It’s called wisdom if you like, and in any sphere or walk of life, wisdom is the principal thing.

So, while I prepare to make the ‘fearful’ request that spurred me to write this, I do hope I have been able to make you or yours (as applicable), to keep calm and rise above fears.

Cheers to being fearless (without being tactless),
Adefolake

*image credit: http://www.google.com

Beautiful in its Time

Recently, I have been getting practical insights into the Biblical injunction that “all things work together for good…” and I must say that it has been a pleasant experience even though it did not seem that way during the “work out” process…

Like when I had an academic presentation postponed on the presentation eve after expending time and finances to put things in place. However, unbeknownst to me, all those who had a go at their presentations during that period received a “No!” verdict, due to circumstances not fully within their control in some instances. When I eventually made my presentation and had a breezy , “Yes,” I then understood why things had not worked out according to plan initially…

The other time, I had applied for placement in an organisation and could not progress as I had hoped, due to my tenuous computation skills at the time. This propelled me to take courses to improve those skills and a few years down the line, I got an easy walk into the same organisation to add value, without having to take any exams.

Very recently, I had to re-take a particular exam which in itself was a painful experience borne out of my carelessness. It was even more painful when the result came out and my name was not on the pass list. Yikes! I thought, a record two-time failure. I really could not fathom how I could deal. It then turned out that there had been some oversight which caused the omission of my name. I in fact passed the exam very well. Sigh of relief. Shortly after this time, my script for the same exam that showed potentials of causing me grief like never before, was selected and published as a standard for future exam candidates.

In all these, the lesson for me has been that “He has made everything beautiful in its time – Eccle 3:11 (NIV).”

Cheers to experiencing beauty in all our endeavours.

Warm regards,

Adefolake

*photo credit: http://www.google.com

 

 

Be YOUnique – Power of a Personal Brand

“Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavours of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage.” – Mt. 5:13 (MSG)

Riding on the introductory italicised preface above, the salt is characterised as  flavouring. A flavour improves the taste of something, as we would have noted from our addition of salt to food. The salt is also a preserver as some of us may have observed in our younger days when our mothers/grand-mothers used salt to preserve fish. We may have also observed that salt is a white and powdery substance like sugar. What then distinguishes salt from sugar you may wonder? This distinguishing factor, is the essence of personal branding.

Personal branding simply described, is that uniqueness that separates one and makes one preferable to the other person. It is personal branding that makes the curriculum vitae (CV) of certain persons preferable to the CV of others. It is also this same personal branding that makes a particular interviewee get a particular job and not another interviewee; or a particular artist preferred above contemporaries. It is yet again personal branding that makes one business idea stand out from another supposedly similar business idea.

The bottom-line is that for anyone to succeed in life, the importance of personal branding should not be neglected. Placed in context with the current tide of economic events in Nigeria where the competition has gotten stiffer, one would agree that without personal branding, one can hardly be a success.

One may wonder how he/she can be a personal brand stating, “but I am just an individual not one of those big, respected companies.” In response to this, one would remind that the journey of a thousand miles begins with the right step. Those big, respected companies did not suddenly appear on the scene, they grew through concerted efforts and exhibiting the right values.

Thus, for today’s professional/entrepreneur to grow and improve his/her personal brand, there is a need to reflect on whether the values he/she holds dear are the right values. If you were to ask five persons within your immediate vicinity, for the first word that comes to their minds when they think of you, their individual responses would give an indication as to whether a positive personal brand is being built, or there is a need to re-evaluate values. Today’s professional/entrepreneur should bear in mind that the big, respected companies or even respected individuals with positive personal brands would not have amounted to much by being tardy, sloppy or lazy.

In closing, today’s professional/entrepreneur should make concerted efforts through deliberate actions, to re-write his/her story to reflect the positive personal brand he/she craves for so that like the salt, he/she would remain a flavouring (and preserver) because ultimately, today’s professional/entrepreneur, ought to be an epistle known and read of all men (II Cor 3:2).

Hugs,

Adefolake

*www.google.com