Tag Archives: Relationships

For Better, For Worse…?

I know, I know. I’ve been a rebel on this platform…, don’t crucify me please🥺 It’s been over a year or what now, since I showed face here. I promise you, baby girl’s been grinding in the background, smashing goals and collecting some breakfast too. Got an MBA since the last time I came on here and completed my PhD coursework too. On the other hand, I just collected some breakfast this morning, got a failure notification for a sought after exam. Still better than when I collected the breakfast on my birthday last year. Btw, my 35th is in 8 days. But that’s not the point of this post. We stay grinding still.

So I was gisting with a friend a few minutes ago…about marriage. I told him my viewpoint about marriage, is that both parties should be married because they want to not because they have no option. As that’s a better way to strengthen marriage or any type of relationship for that matter.

IMO, that’s the better way to make it work because that means that each party knows they are a valued asset and can walk away at any time. They also know their partner is a valued asset, and can likewise walk away at any time, especially where respect is no longer being served. Again, IMO, this makes each partner humble in the marriage and makes them be on their ‘A’ game. Much like where a big club signs on a talented player or a global company hires a global talent. Each party is in the relationship because they want to not because they had no option. Each party therefore values the other and doesn’t take things for granted so as not to get unceremoniously dumped.

My friend initially thought my views were disturbing, but after I explained the above rationale, he understood and aligned in some way.

What do you think?

Anyway, I hope and pray to not dump my blogging for the next 1 year or more. Amen?

Best,

Fola

*image credit: http://www.google.com

Don’t Burn Bridges

‘Hey! I don’t need this bridge no more, so who cares if it goes up in blazes!’ You say…

But not too fast, who says never say never, huh!

Granted, we cannot say ‘yes’ to everyone and everything at the same time – it’s why there is such a thing as opportunity cost in economics. But then, we can say ‘no’ without making enemies – it’s why there is such a thing called emotional intelligence.

At a point in time, I had two job opportunities – both great opportunities by the way – a dream come true for most. But here’s the snag, I couldn’t take up both opportunities at the same time; I had to disappoint one organisation. Here was my dilemma – how to say ‘no’ without making enemies.

Of course, I could just say ‘no’ and move on. But because I knew I may be needing the rejected one later in life, I had to be creative about how I said the ‘no’ so it did not become a personal vendetta.

The thing is, in this thing called life, you often cannot get divorced from having a roller coaster ride or coming back full circle even at the most inopportune times. Hence, wisdom is key.

I kid you not, I spent a number of sleepless nights ruminating on how to say this ‘no’ even engaging with about three very senior persons in the know and of course my personal ‘yard’ people on how to go about it.

In the end, the ‘no’ was said – feelings were hurt and maybe one or two silent enemies made. But then, I tried to say the ‘no’ in such a way that there were very viable reasons behind the ‘no’ which could not be faulted. I also retained many of my senior friends in the process.

Kinda reminds me of when I need to say ‘no’ to le hubs. I mean I could very easily tell him to go to hell, but then ‘who e epp’ when he gets pissed? So I often think of how to couch my ‘no’ in a way that doesn’t alienate him – which in turn also impresses on him the manner in which to tell me ‘no’ in a respectful way.

You see in this life, choose your battles; don’t burn bridges if you can help it. Emotional intelligence is key and wisdom is supreme!

Cheerio,

Hugs,

Adefolake

*image credit: http://www.google.com