Author Archives: pholarke

News bearing vs. Talebearing

After breaking some news the other day, it suddenly dawned on me that there can sometimes be a fine line between news bearing and talebearing.

News bearing is simply the art or act (if you like) of delivering information – be it good or bad – to another person. Talebearing on the other hand, is the spreading of gossip, secrets, etc., that may cause trouble or harm. Thus while news bearing can be regarded as reporting without any malicious intent, talebearing is reporting with malicious intent. Indeed, talebearing may involve garnishing the truth in varying degrees which may even involve an outright lie.

Some people seem to derive an almost perverse pleasure from being the first to transmit bad news; and they seem to perform the act on a regular basis. Such people, in my view, are no different from talebearers.

As I sign out, I urge us (and that includes me!) to examine ourselves to determine whether we are actually news bearers or mere talebearers; and retrace our steps if we fall into the latter category!

Envy

How does one realise when one has crossed the line between wishing one was like another person and envying that person?

I ask because once upon a time there were three friends living not too far apart from one another. Well, eventually one relocated and another went in search of greener pasture for a while. Eventually, the one in search of greener pasture returned and as you might have guessed, went to say hi to the relocated friend without so much as a knock at the door of the friend next door.

I guess when it comes right down to it, you could say a choice has been made but what is the friend next door to feel? Envy or wishful thinking?

Either ways, I just thought to leave a food for thought even as I call it a day and snuggle up in my blanket. *sweet dreams*

Never say Never

In a bid to be a better me this year 2015, I determined to perform my civic duty of giving my mandate to whom I believe the cap best fits.

So, early in the morning, found me at my state electoral commission’s office to effect a transfer of my voter’s registration since I had since relocated from the state where I did the initial registration…

I met a not too polite individual at the gate who informed me that the process of transfer had been suspended just two days earlier. Surprisingly, I was downcast wondering aloud that the statutory deadline ought to be the following week. Not unexpectedly, this individual was oblivious to my plight.

Moving towards the exit of the office, I had a sudden resolve not to give up. So I went elsewhere to attend to other pressing matters and paid a return visit to the office a few hours later.

I made past the gate (thankfully the oblivious individual did not recognise me *grin*). I entered the reception, narrated my ordeal in brief to the front desk officers and was told the same story but this time I was also directed to an official for further details.

This official was unexpectedly nice and sympathetic and gave an assurance of addressing my situation if the opportunity presented itself.

Not totally assured, I made further attempts in my own little way to get the situation addressed.

At the end, this nice, sympathetic official made good his word and my voter’s registration was transferred.

The morale of this my unaccustomed epistle is that in all our doings, we should never say never!

This evil called ‘procrastination!’

It is with pursed lips and gritted teeth that I write this. You know why? My article just got bounced…all because of procrastination!

I learnt a long while ago that procrastination means putting off till tomorrow what ought to be done today. Did knowing the meaning of the word prevent me from indulging in it? Apparently not!

A few minutes of ruminating on the effect of my procrastination made me realise more clearly that even the best of intentions by even the best of us, mean nothing if we do not activate those intentions. Of course, I could pout and complain that my editor did not give me the head ups but in my heart of hearts I know that it is only myself I have to blame for putting off till today what I could have done yesterday.

As I lick my wounds and prepare for the new year 2015, I can only hope that I will not have this sort of touching story to tell next year because ‘ko ti e ni funny rara!’

That said, let me go and complete my take home assignment before I put off till next year what I could have done this year…

Shout out to when we were younger…

Part of me wanted to caption this, ‘shout out to when we were young,’ but with a snicker, I remebered I am still young, hence the additional ‘er’ to the last word.

Ok, so after reporting to the office to implement my own share of our skeletal services, I decided to cool off with a bowl of eba and afang (yea a chic’s gotta eat!) and then a blast from the past flashed across my brain….

…that when we were younger, our major concerns aside from ‘catching 1st position in exams’ of course, were things like, ‘have you started using bra, have you started you know, has your voice become deep, hey, I just saw a strand of ‘bia bia’ on your chin’ and other pubertic concerns.

Well, now we have grown and with that comes grown issues like, ‘how do I settle the bills, who should I settle with’ and the likes.

As I wash down my meal with water and prepare to take home unfinished assignments for this holiday (another grown up concern), I hope I will be able to think back to this moment and hopefully post on this same platform when my child is my current age.

Déjà vu you say? I call it the circle of life…

 

Passing the buck

How convenient do you find it to shift the blame to others?

Passing the buck is often regarded as an easy way to pass on the responsibility of something (or the lack thereof) to another person. ‘But it was his fault,’ you say sheepishly. Well, maybe it was; but if you are the team leader or perhaps of a higher rank than the faulting party, it is not unheard of for fingers to come pointing at you when something goes wrong.

In such an instance, one may just have to take a deep breath and remember the timeless cliche that ‘uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.’ Remember that your leadership skills are actually more appreciated when things go wrong (‘God forbid!’ you might say).

So to all concerned -and that includes me- here’s to hoping that we all firmly resist the all too easy temptation of passing the buck in our daily doings. *cheers*

Appraisals

So, imagine you have sworn to yourself that you would never be caught dead at the office on a weekend…and on a Thursday you are informed by HR to present yourself for a performance appraisal session that Saturday. ‘Just peachy!’ you mutter.

Well, unless you’ve gotten an offer elsewhere or ‘miraculously’ fall very ill on that Saturday (of course with a medical report from a teaching hospital), it would appear that the available choices are limited.

One thing is clear, an appraisal session is tailored to measure performance and even if the appraiser is a true life judge, he does have emotions which you do not want to toy with. However, one truth that is not equally as clear, is that an appraisal session is also an opportunity, in my view, for you to measure your appraiser’s performance (even if it is only in your mind). This is because, each of us is the CEO of our respective lives and we should accordingly feel free to promote, demote or terminate as the need arises.

Cherio…

When the grass seems greener on the other side…

How many times have you considered changing boats in the belief that there’s fair weather on the other side? At least I concede I have.

While it is healthy in one’s view, to consider options, it should be noted that before a decision is taken to abandon one course of action for another, there should be a comprehensive review and stock-taking plan. This would help ensure that the decision to jump boats as it were, would be an informed one so that one would not be doused with the icy water of regret in the future. Because, let’s face it, although the grass usually appears greener on the other side, the reality is not always the case.

As one writer puts it, if the grass is always greener on the other side, then others must feel the same about your side. What may be needed in retrospect, may just be to water your own grass so that it would be just as green.

Where there’s a will, there’s often a way

Once upon a true life story…

It was 9:30 am, court was to sit by 10am and there were court processes to be filed which were to be used that morning.

9:40am final comments were sent in; of course laptop and printer were not in sight. Gritting my teeth in grim determination, and thanks to internet on mobile phones, the processes were forwarded to a colleague at the office to format and finalise.

9:50 am, thanks to a charming smile, one of the court registry staff agrees to assist with his computer system and printer. But then, no bluetooth on the computer system to use to transfer the file. We try to send it to his email and of course, network chose that moment to disappoint.

Teeth still gritted, we decide to send it to his laptop which thankfully had bluetooth. Thanks to a love for technology, the file was transferred via blackberry to the laptop.

The laptop was plugged to the printer but no show! It wasn’t a plug and play printer and the the software wasn’t installed on the laptop.

Refusing to be discouraged, I reached in my purse and brought out my flash drive (yea, I like to roll like that!) and we do another transfer into a computer that was compatible with the printer and voila the document chugs out.

9:59 am, we rushed to file and put the processes into the court file….

10:03 am, the registrar yelled, ‘Court…’ and the rest they say is history.

My conclusion, where there is a will, there is often a way.

Swimming or Sinking?

How many times have you felt so weighed down by a particular situation that it seems you can’t function properly?

Personally, I am no super-girl and I’ve had my own fair share of ups and downs…and now that I think of it, even our famous super-man never had a happy-go-lucky ride either…if my memory of cartoons serves.

One sure fact is life ain’t always gonna go straight; therefore, how crooked our individual paths get along the journey of life, is just a matter of degree.

At such times, one just has to draw from the reservoir of strength from within and rise above the situation because the alternative just ain’t pretty enough to contemplate.

Bottom line, a cliche says that tough times don’t last but tough people do. I extend this by saying that even when a tough situation appears to be overstaying its visit, the tough folk will always outlast it come what may, because if he or she refuses to swim, sinking becomes inevitable.

Have a beautiful week ahead.