Category Archives: Diary of the Bubbly ‘Efiko’

Don’t Burn Bridges

‘Hey! I don’t need this bridge no more, so who cares if it goes up in blazes!’ You say…

But not too fast, who says never say never, huh!

Granted, we cannot say ‘yes’ to everyone and everything at the same time – it’s why there is such a thing as opportunity cost in economics. But then, we can say ‘no’ without making enemies – it’s why there is such a thing called emotional intelligence.

At a point in time, I had two job opportunities – both great opportunities by the way – a dream come true for most. But here’s the snag, I couldn’t take up both opportunities at the same time; I had to disappoint one organisation. Here was my dilemma – how to say ‘no’ without making enemies.

Of course, I could just say ‘no’ and move on. But because I knew I may be needing the rejected one later in life, I had to be creative about how I said the ‘no’ so it did not become a personal vendetta.

The thing is, in this thing called life, you often cannot get divorced from having a roller coaster ride or coming back full circle even at the most inopportune times. Hence, wisdom is key.

I kid you not, I spent a number of sleepless nights ruminating on how to say this ‘no’ even engaging with about three very senior persons in the know and of course my personal ‘yard’ people on how to go about it.

In the end, the ‘no’ was said – feelings were hurt and maybe one or two silent enemies made. But then, I tried to say the ‘no’ in such a way that there were very viable reasons behind the ‘no’ which could not be faulted. I also retained many of my senior friends in the process.

Kinda reminds me of when I need to say ‘no’ to le hubs. I mean I could very easily tell him to go to hell, but then ‘who e epp’ when he gets pissed? So I often think of how to couch my ‘no’ in a way that doesn’t alienate him – which in turn also impresses on him the manner in which to tell me ‘no’ in a respectful way.

You see in this life, choose your battles; don’t burn bridges if you can help it. Emotional intelligence is key and wisdom is supreme!

Cheerio,

Hugs,

Adefolake

*image credit: http://www.google.com

Don’t Panic!

Easy for you to say…you may scoff under your breath at the topic. Well, the truth is everyone has at one time or the other had a bout of panic attack. My point with the topic is that panic often paralyses us from dissecting and distilling issues properly. As such, we should be intentional about avoiding if even if we come up short once in a while.

I mention come up short because even I who tries to be intentional about not giving in to panic still had a panic attack of sorts a few days ago when my deliverable timeline was looming, yet my materials were not ready…But that’s not really the point of this post.

You see, about three years ago, a few of my colleagues and I enrolled for an international tax certification. I had my first shot at one of the courses and failed. Again, panic attack in retrospect. I had thought the questions to be so difficult that I got disorganised in my time planning. By the time I got to the last question which was to take about 45 mins to answer and discovered I could actually answer it relatively easily, I had just 5 mins to ‘pens up.’ Failed the course by 2 marks. Of course, I immediately gave myself a self-motivational speech on the power of 1 or 2 marks. *laughs.

Anyways, teeth gritted, I re-enrolled for that course and did my darn best to prepare, re-wrote the exam and it was a breeze or so I thought…

But when the results were released, I did not see my name in the pass list. Panic and depression mode set in. You see I did not even contemplate that there could have been some logistics issues. In my head, I had bungled the exam yet again and perhaps wasn’t any good after all.

I got talking to one of my colleagues who also took the exam and boy! I loved her spirit. She did not see her name in the pass list too but immediately said that she was sure that there was some mistake somewhere ‘cos she knew what she wrote in the exam. See confidence…! But, could she be right? I wondered. Well, being the oldest in the pack, I took it upon myself to reach out to the examiners. After all, s/he who is already down need fear no fall in’it?

Bingo! We found out our results were withheld without any notification to us on the mistaken belief that we had not paid our exam fees. Of course, we provided evidence of this and our results were released. My confident colleague and I both passed our exams.

You see, my panic mode had prevented me from seeing this glimmer of hope and but for my more confident younger colleague, I may have been shattered into thinking I was no good, either giving up the exams outright or perhaps re-enrolling for yet another retake.

Bottomline, don’t panic.

Oh by the way, I now have the international tax certification😍

Best,

Adefolake

*image credit: http://www.google.com

Feeling Useless? You may only need to change your Approach!

I recall a research paper I once wrote as part of the requirements to clinch an international tax certification. I was so sure the paper was top notch or a ‘banger’ in informal lingua. After waiting for about four months for the verdict, I received an email regretting to inform me that the research effort was not up to standard. I was advised to consider revising the paper and re-submitting. That I was crushed, is an understatement!

After overcoming the initial denial *laughs,* I revisited the assessor’s comments and found that I could address most of them by simply re-adjusting the title of my research paper to fit ‘perfectly’ with the existing contents. Of course, I had to make a few tweaks to the contents too but the big deal was really in revising my topic. This was not stated as part of the suggestions for improving the contents but to be honest, I was so inundated with several other assignments that I was willing to clutch at straws after bouncing the idea off le hubz to test viability. After all s/he who is already down need fear no fall ‘innit?’

I applied for the topic revision, it was granted, I tweaked the contents and submitted the research paper. It was a ‘banger’ and I obtained the coveted certification.

To prove this theory, I have applied it on other occasions with successful results.

Bottomline – sometimes the solution to that ‘big’ problem is merely a change of approach. The problem itself does not make you an abysmal failure. Rather, it should bring to bear your innovative prowess if you can only rise up from that self-pity!

Cheers to thinking out of the box.

-Adefolake

*image credit: http://www.google.com