These notes are as much a charge to me, as to anyone who is struggling to rise above his/her fears. I mean, I’m all for the mantra that ‘you don’t get what you don’t ask for,’ but hey let’s face it, the asking isn’t always easy abi? But again, me rationalising with myself, I ask, ‘what do you have to lose by asking?’ Worst case, you get a ‘No!’  which does not leave you in a worse position than you were before asking; and think of it, there’s a 50% chance that you will get a ‘Yes:)’ and if that happens, you definitely get to be in a better position than you were before asking. So doing the maths, risk analysis or similar, you’re probably better off asking.

But…one may whisper, ‘I stand a chance of being looked down upon for asking,’ aka I stand a chance of losing ‘rep.’ After all, you reason, ‘it is better to keep quiet and be thought stupid than to open one’s mouth and leave none in doubt as to one’s stupidity.’ Deep huh! But hey, wait a min,’ what could possibly make you worried about ‘losing face?’ Could this be traced to a twinge of pride perhaps? But what do I know right?

Anyways, one way I approach such situations, fears, uncertainties, potential losing of ‘rep’ and the likes, is to put on my ‘strategy’ (not manipulative…*side eye*) cap to present my case in such a manner that even if I do get a ‘No!’ my ‘rep’ doesn’t also get battered. After all, a word fitly spoken, is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. Nice imagery right? It’s called wisdom if you like, and in any sphere or walk of life, wisdom is the principal thing.

So, while I prepare to make the ‘fearful’ request that spurred me to write this, I do hope I have been able to make you or yours (as applicable), to keep calm and rise above fears.

Cheers to being fearless (without being tactless),
Adefolake

*image credit: http://www.google.com